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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26681788">The Hurt That Befalls</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperDoctor11/pseuds/HyperDoctor11'>HyperDoctor11</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Without Any Strings Attached [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, F/M, Gen, M/M, Miscarriage, Pregnancy, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Unplanned Pregnancy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 03:14:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,810</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26681788</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperDoctor11/pseuds/HyperDoctor11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Compasses were odd little things guiding people on their way to true, everlasting love.</p><p>So, why in the world did Carson try their damnedest to hide theirs from everyone around them?</p><p> </p><p>Prequel to: Strange Things Have Happened Here</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Original Non-Binary Character &amp; Ray Palmer</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Without Any Strings Attached [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954018</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. "I'll clean it up, I promise."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26173213">Magnetic</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aly_H/pseuds/Aly_H">Aly_H</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is a Prequel to my story 'Strange Things Have Happened Here.' You can read 'Strange Things Have Happened Here' before or after this. This is just meant to give some backstory to Carson Palmer.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Posted 10-03-2020</p><p>Hello!<br/>This chapter ties in with Chapter One of Strange Things Have Happened Here.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Compasses were odd little things.</p><p>They were on the underside of a person's dominant hand from birth. Many people only had one needle; some people had two. No two Compasses were alike, and no two needles were alike. Each Compass was unique to their person. Each needle was unique to the soulmate's relationship. Every color that brightened and filled in the needle when the soulmates met was unique.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Carson Palmer -- born Fiona Elizabeth Vanderbilt in Ivy Town -- was one of those people who had two needles from birth. When her father, William Vanderbilt, noticed her two needles after being handed the bundle that was his daughter, he felt instantly disgusted by his own child. Raised to believe that those with two needles were freaks and impure of heart, he treated his oldest child as though she had the plague. When he and his wife, Noel Vanderbilt, had their second child -- a boy named Percy Vanderbilt -- they were ecstatic to find he only had one needle. One needle meant one soulmate -- one soulmate meant he was normal.</p><p>Being a perceptive child, Carson knew something was wrong with her by her third birthday. She could tell the difference in how her parents handled her little brother with care and love in their eyes and the hatred and disgust they had with her. She often cried herself to sleep, self-soothing by rocking herself in her bed while her parents ignored her for Percy. The only person in her family that ever gave her any type of loving attention was her Aunt Lily -- a woman born a man whom the rest of the family always seemed to shun as well.</p><p>By her fourth birthday, she had come to realize it was because she had two intricate needles on her Compass instead of one; both needles pointed in different directions, although they were close enough that she could tell they were close by each other. Her aunt would often tell her stories about how her own needle led her on a great journey across the world to find her soulmate only to end up back in Ivy Town to her next-door neighbor, who was a traveling businesswoman. The two fell in love in an epic story that painted Carson's dreams full of love and romance and adventures she knew she could never have.</p><p>By her fifth birthday, her grey needles moved to point in the same direction for the first time in her life, overlapping each other as though her soulmates were right on top of each other. Carson became despondent knowing that she was born after her soulmates and that, perhaps, they were better off without her. Her parent's patronizing words coming into her mind to remind her that relationships only worked with two people, never three. And that, maybe perhaps, she was never meant to find her soulmates. Maybe that was her lot in life.</p><p>By her sixth birthday, Carson began to hide her Compass, much to her Aunt Lily's dismay. Carson was adamant about forgetting her soulmates even existed. When she got into her mother's makeup drawer after Noel left for work one morning, she used foundation and coverup to hide the Compass just like her mother used the makeup to hide her blemishes. She made a promise to herself that she would never look at her Compass again. She made a promise to herself to never let the idea of true, everlasting love cloud her thoughts and judgment. She made a promise to herself she would never, ever under any circumstances, go looking for her soulmates.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Fiona!" William spat. "Get down here! We have company!"</p><p>Seven-year-old Carson rolled her eyes at her name. Despite wanting to please her parents, fitting into what they considered 'female' just didn't feel right. Talking to her Aunt Lily and her aunt's partner, Amanda, and having her aunts call her Carson felt right. But Carson responded to the name 'Fiona' and came out of her room, abandoning her homework, and made her way downstairs into the living room. In the living room was her best friend, Ray Palmer, and his family. Carson nearly smacked herself in the face out of her own stupidity. She had forgotten that her parents had invited Ray and his family over for dinner that evening.</p><p>"Ray!" Carson yelled out happily, tugging the long sleeves of her black shirt down over her hands. Ray had never seen her Compass. She ran up to her best friend and hugged him tightly. "I'm really happy you're here!"</p><p>With Ray and his family there, her own family had to play nice. That was something Carson caught on fast. They never berated her or were mean to her in front of company.</p><p>"Hey, Carson," Sydney said, walking up to Carson.</p><p>He gave her a hug in which Carson tensed up. Sydney and Ray had happily agreed to call her Carson, but they didn't know her parents had no idea about the unofficial name change. Carson could feel the eyes burning a hole in her head at the name as she released Sydney, giving him a tense smile. She would hear it later, perhaps be smacked over it, but for the moment, she could appreciate the fact that her friends were saving her.</p><p>"Hey, Syd," Carson responded. She turned to her best friend's parents. "Mr. and Mrs. Palmer."</p><p>"Hello, Fiona," Mr. Palmer said kindly as he and his wife entered the house.</p><p>"Hey!" Ray said excitedly. "You wanna see the cool video game I brought?"</p><p>"Yeah!" Carson yelled excitedly. She could hear her little brother, Percy, huff behind her. He was only five and was still not allowed to play video games. "Let's go!"</p><p>"Come on, Syd!" Ray yelled, pulling his older twin along behind him.</p><p>When the three were upstairs in the safety of Carson's tiny bedroom, the three took a seat on Carson's twin-sized bed with purple sheets and turned on the television and gaming console.</p><p>"Oh!" Sydney said, pulling up the sleeve of his grey shirt and showing off his elegant Compass whose needle finally stopped spinning. "Look! The needle stopped spinning." The swirling needle was still grey, with no colors filling in the needle that pointed to the north. "My soulmate's been born! I'll finally get to meet them."</p><p>Ray looked sadly down at his Compass, whose swirling, artistic needle was still spinning. Carson noticed the pout and bumped her shoulder with his, a small smile on her face. It placed a small smile on Ray's face as he bumped his shoulder back to Carson's.</p><p>"What about yours, Carson?" Sydney asked as Ray got up to put in the video game he brought. "We never get to see yours."</p><p>"Yeah," Ray said, coming back to sit on the right of Carson. "You always have yours hidden."</p><p>Carson instantly became self-conscious. She pulled the long sleeves of her shirt down lower to cover her hands. "I don't really like it," Carson said with a shrug. "I have two needles."</p><p>Carson expected disgust to follow the revelation. She expected her two best friends to yell and call her a freak. She expected them to walk out on her, demand their parents to leave the house, and never return.</p><p>But the opposite happened. Bright smiles spread across the twins' faces. Wonder and curiosity filled their identical dark brown eyes. It was strange for Carson; she was taken aback.</p><p>"That's so cool!" Ray said excitedly.</p><p>"Yeah!" Sydney agreed with a nod.</p><p>"You guys don't," Carson paused, trying to find the disgust hidden in their faces only to come up empty, "you guys don't hate me?"</p><p>Ray shook his head, confused. "Why would we? Our cousin has two needles, too!"</p><p>A small smile found its way on Carson's face at the revelation that she wasn't alone in the world -- that she wasn't the only one to have two needles. The smile widened when she realized her two best friends still loved her despite being what her parents called a 'freak.'</p><p>"Really?" Carson asked for confirmation. Both Sydney and Ray nodded their heads in sync. "That's so cool! You have to tell me more!"</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Carson sighed unhappily. Despite the knowledge that she wasn't alone in the world, that she wasn't a 'freak,' it didn't make her life at home any easier. After accidentally mentioning it to her parents the morning before school the day after the Palmers came over, her life became worse. Constant berating and constant hate was all Carson received from both her parents and her baby brother. She tried her best to keep a brave face and to not let her friends or schoolmates know there was anything wrong, but it was getting harder to pretend. Especially when her Aunt Lily and Aunt Amanda moved to Central City permanently to adopt a child named Quentin. It left Carson feeling alone in the world. The only person in her life that understood her plight, that understood what happened behind closed doors, left her life.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Everything blew up when Carson was eight.</p><p>Carson knew enough from the talks with their Aunt Lily that they neither felt like a girl nor a boy. Neither gender felt right when Carson used their pronouns; only using they/them pronouns stopped their skin from crawling in a bad way. But, Carson couldn't bring that to their parents -- they knew better. Talk of being different from the norm more than they were would only spark more abuse and neglect than Carson already received.</p><p>It was after school, one sunny fall day. It wasn't unlike any other day where their father, William, was drunk, and their mother was taking care of Percy, now six, whom Noel never hid that she loved better. Carson believed it was better if they made themselves nearly invisible to their family so that they wouldn't be a target. They were doing a fairly good job of blending into the background until they accidentally dropped a plate of food.</p><p>Carson's green eyes widened as they realized the house had gone silent. A silent house meant that they were no longer invisible. Not being invisible anymore meant their parent's attention -- the bad kind -- would be on them.</p><p>"Fiona Elizabeth Vanderbilt," William's slurred voice shouted out. Carson ducked their head in terror at the use of their full name. "What the hell are you doing?"</p><p>"I-I," Carson stammered, "I just, I just dropped my plate, sir."</p><p>"How can you be so useless?" William asked.</p><p>"I'm sorry, sir," Carson said softly. They knew looking at their mother for help was useless. Their mother wouldn't help them; their brother wouldn't help, either. They were on their own. "I'll clean it up, I promise."</p><p>William got out of his chair and stumbled up to Carson, who stared at him in terror. He backhanded them. They fell to the floor, holding their cheek.</p><p>"You better," he said with hatred in his voice. "How can you be my daughter? A freak. A useless piece of shit. A nobody. You're gonna die alone, you know that?"</p><p>Carson tried not to whimper. They tried not to let the tears burning their eyes fall. They knew that if the tears began to fall, it would only get worse.</p><p>"Honey," Noel said, "not in front of Percy."</p><p>Noel picked up Percy and took him upstairs. It took away a safe barrier that left Carson at the mercy of their father. Carson was smacked again. A whimper did escape along with a few tears.</p><p>"Pathetic," William slurred as he swayed on his feet. "I don't know why I didn't just give you up when I had the chance. You're not natural. You should've never been born."</p><p>Neither person heard the door open as William continued to berate Carson.</p><p>"People like you deserve to die for being an abomination," William continued. "A relationship only works with two people -- never three. It's sick to see your Compass with two needles." William grabbed Carson roughly by the arm and yanked them to their feet. "Now, clean the mess up before I make you do it."</p><p>William tossed Carson over to the dropped plate and food strewn across the floor.</p><p>"Car-Carson?" Ray asked, his wide dark brown eyes looking shocked as he stood near the front door.</p><p>Carson's green eyes snapped over to Ray and scolded themselves. They had forgotten Ray was coming over to work on homework. How could they be so stupid and careless?</p><p>"Ray?" Carson asked meekly. "Please." Carson trailed off, not knowing what they were asking for. Perhaps, they were asking their best friend to save them. Perhaps, they were asking their best friend to ignore whatever he had just seen and to pretend like nothing had happened.</p><p>But the fierceness in Ray's eyes told Carson that he wouldn't just forget what he had seen. He would find a way to make it right.</p><p>"You can't treat Carson like that!" Ray shouted at William.</p><p>"She's my child," William said with a sneer at Ray. "I can treat her however I damn well please."</p><p>"Ray," Carson whispered with a shake of their head. "Stop. Please."</p><p>"No," Ray said firmly. He wouldn't let this go. "You're coming with me." He looked at William with a fierceness in his dark brown eyes that only someone who possessed a heart full of love could. "I'm telling my parents what you're doing. They're going to take Carson from you and put them into a better home. <em>My</em> home! I won't ever let them be hurt by you again!"</p><p>Ray grabbed Carson's wrist and marched the both of them out of the Vanderbilt house.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It didn't take long after Ray had brought Carson into his house that child services was called. The black and blue marks along Carson's body and face were growing and becoming present; the green ones that were fading were evidence of ongoing abuse. It was determined in a matter of days that Carson's parents were no longer fit to take care of them. Carson was given to the Palmer family and changed their name to Carson Arkady Palmer; Arkady meaning truly brave.</p><p>Carson was given a new life. But not without consequences.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Oh, come on," Fifteen-year-old Ray said as he and Carson entered their high school. Syd wasn't feeling well that day and had to stay home, the lucky bastard. "You've got to give me something about the girl you're dating."</p><p>Carson smiled widely at their brother as they made their way to their adjacent lockers. "No can do, bro," Carson said. "She's smoking hot, and I'm surprised she even wants to..." Carson trailed off as their eyes caught the girl they were dating -- with a boy, "date me," they finished lamely.</p><p>Holly Carlton, all of five-foot-two with dark brunette hair and light blue eyes, laughed as the boy, Vince Anderson, who had his arm around her shoulders, told a joke. She reached up and pecked him on the cheek and rested her head on his shoulder. As Holly passed by Carson, she gave them a disgusted look and moved on.</p><p>"Wait right here," Carson said to Ray, slamming their locker door shut. They chased after Holly. "Holly! Wait up!"</p><p>Holly stopped to turn around and face Carson. "What do you want, <em>freak?"</em></p><p>
  <em>How can you be my daughter? A freak. A nobody.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Nobody will love someone will two needles. You're a freak, Fiona. A freak.</em>
</p><p>Carson's back straightened as they pulled on an indifference mask on their face. "I thought-"</p><p>"You thought wrong," Holly said, glancing lovingly up at Vince. <em>"This</em> is my soulmate." She looked at Carson disgustedly. "Who'd ever be soulmated to someone with <em>two</em> needles? A <em>freak."</em></p><p>Carson managed to keep themselves in check as they turned around with their head held high. It wasn't until they had rounded a corner to the women's bathroom and made it inside that they allowed themselves to breakdown crying. They wished with all their might that their biological parents had been wrong. They wished with all their might that someone out there would love them despite the two needles. But now they knew it wasn't possible.</p><p>"Carson?" Ray called out, rushing into the women's bathroom despite the looks. "Carson!"</p><p>Carson could feel arms go around their body, but it didn't seem to cut through the haze in their mind.</p><p>All they could think was they truly were a freak.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. "I don't know what to do."</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Out of all the stupid relationships Carson has had to fill a void, this one takes the cake.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Posted 10-23-2020</p><p>Hello! This chapter ties in with Chapter Four of Strange Things Have Happened Here.<br/> </p><p>Read the Tags. That's all I'm gonna say.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Twenty-five.</p><p>That was a year Carson both treasured and wished with all their might they could forget.</p><p>But how could they forget one of the greatest joys <em>and </em>greatest tragedies in their entire life?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It all started out innocently enough a month after they turned twenty-five. That May was warm in Starling City. Carson had just recently shed their long hair in favor of a short-cropped look that helped curb their body dysphoria if only a bit. They had gone out to a club one night to dance away the fact Syndey had moved to Keystone with his soulmate to start a family. Ray was trying to start his own company and, thus, wasn't great company to be around. Carson let themselves go, dancing and drinking and laughing with other people around them. Those around them were in the club for one reason, and one reason only -- to get laid. Carson never got hung-up on who they slept with, whether that person had already found their soulmate, was still looking, was Directionless, or Broken. All Carson wanted was a good time.</p><p>"Hey!" A man with spiked up blue hair shouted over the loud bass of the music. "You wanna get out of here?!"</p><p>Carson smiled at the man -- thin, blue hair and blue eyes. He was just their type when it came to men.</p><p>"Yeah!" Carson yelled back. "Let's go to my place!"</p><p>The man nodded his head with a wide smile.</p><p>The rest of the night was spent making the bed creak and Carson's next-door-neighbor in their apartment building bang on their shared wall in anger at the loud noises.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The man, Terry Underwood, wasn't there the next morning. His number, however, was. Propped up against the lamp on Carson's nightstand, giving Carson a good morning smile.</p><p>The one-night stand quickly turned into quick hookups when one of them needed a good release since Terry was Directionless -- aromantic, he had explained, with a high libido. Carson didn't know how it snowballed into what it did -- a friends with benefits type deal -- but they weren't complaining. At least they knew who they were sleeping with for the past four months. They just didn't expect to catch feelings for him when he had clearly and explicitly told Carson when the two started whatever they were doing that he would cut off ties if they developed feelings for him.</p><p>Carson didn't want to lose such familiarity. It was a rarity in their life.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"How're you feeling?" Lily asked, sipping on a hot cup of tea.</p><p>"I'm feelin' good," Carson said with a smile as they lounged in Lily's house in Central City. They leaned against the wooden table in the dining room. "Like <em> really </em> good."</p><p>"I'm glad." Lily smiled at her nibling. "It's so rare to see you healthy and happy."</p><p>Carson shrugged their shoulders. "Well, I wouldn't say <em> healthy." </em>  They received a worried look from Lily. "It's nothin', really. I'm late for my period, but I'm still gettin' my normal cravings. Like, I still want my OJ and <em>lots </em>of pizza. But I'm gettin' more nauseous every day. Though, I'm almost positive that's because my next-door neighbor is trying out new recipes that he  <em> really </em> shouldn't be tryin'."</p><p>Lily's face took on a concerned look. "How late are you?"</p><p>Carson shrugged their shoulders as they took a grape from the fruit bowl on the table. "Dunno. Maybe three or four weeks?" They didn't catch the hitch in their aunt's breathing. "But, I've been really stressed with Detective Lance on my ass. I swear, if he keeps harassing and taunting me about catchin' me, I'm gonna throw hands." Carson rolled her eyes. "I know that you don't particularly enjoy that I'm a small-time thief, but I enjoy the rush and the thrill. There's really nothing like it. I can't -- Where're you goin'?"</p><p>"To the store," Lily said, getting up from the table and grabbing her jacket to fare against the early October chill. "I need you to take a pregnancy test."</p><p>"Pregnan - <em> Pregnancy </em>  test?" Carson asked incredulously. They laughed, thinking Lily was joking, before slowly coming to a stop at her serious face. "Oh. You're actually -- you really think that I'm  <em> pregnant?" </em></p><p>"Don't you want to make sure you're not?" Lily asked. Carson was silent. "Get in the car."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>It didn't take long for Carson to find out that, yes, they were pregnant. How? Carson didn't understand. They were always so careful about taking their birth control and making sure their male partners were using condoms. Lily suggested that a condom might've broken and that birth control pills didn't work one-hundred percent of the time.</p><p>Carson believed the universe was laughing at them by making them pregnant. Who in their right mind would think Carson Palmer would make a good parent? Carson, themselves, didn't believe they would make a good parent. All too often had they heard people say that abused children often abused their own children when they had them. Carson couldn't imagine having a child just to eventually abuse them as their bio-parents did to them.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Tell me what to do," Carson said quietly, their head laying on Lily's lap as they sprawled out on the couch. "I don't know what to do."</p><p>"First," Lily said, playing with Carson's short hair, "you need to tell Terry. It's only fair that he knows you're pregnant. Second, you need to decide whether you want to keep the baby or not."</p><p>Carson could feel tears sting their green eyes. "I don't want to abort my child." They sighed. "I don't want to end up abusing them, either."</p><p>"Adoption is always an option."</p><p>"No," Carson said firmly. Their hands tightened around the material of Lily's shirt. "No. If I have a child,<em> I'm </em>raisin' it. I won't give my child away and have them livin' the rest of their life wondering what was so wrong with them that I wouldn't keep them."</p><p>Lily sighed, her hands still playing with Carson's hair. She couldn't imagine the struggle of being pregnant. Part of her wished she could become pregnant and experience the joy of growing a life, but the other part was grateful she had been born a male so she would never have to go through what her nibling was going through. That lack of experience, however, made Lily struggle to give Carson advice.</p><p>"Can I say something?" Amanda, Lily's wife, said, coming out of the kitchen. Quentin was out at a friend's house. "I believe you'd make an <em>amazing </em>parent, Carson. You have so much love to give and not a mean bone in your body, thieving aside. I couldn't imagine a better parent than you." Amanda walked over to the couch and crouched down in front of Carson. "No one would be kinder to their child knowing what the horrors of a truly horrendous parent could do. You would <em>never </em>hurt that child  <em> ever." </em></p><p>"You really think so?" Carson asked in a small voice.</p><p>"I know so, baby," Amanda said with a sweet smile on her face. "And we will be right here with you every step of the way if you want us to be."</p><p>Carson nodded her head. "I do. I do want you to be. I want Ray here as well."</p><p>"And what about the father?" Lily asked.</p><p>"He's Directionless," Carson explained. "He doesn't do romantic attachments or familial attachments. He just wants fun; a baby is not fun."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Ray," Carson said, ending up on their brother's doorstep.</p><p>It was dark and deary as the rain began to pour, fitting Carson's mood. Their short-cropped hair was sticking wetly to their forehead as their clothes were soaked from walking in the rain.</p><p>"Carson?" Ray asked in shock as Carson huddled in on themselves in the cold. "Get in here! What're you doing? It's raining cats and dogs out there!"</p><p>"Yeah, no shit, Ray," Carson said, their teeth beginning to chatter as they entered the warmth of Ray's house. "I just," they sighed as Ray wrapped them in a warm, fluffy blanket, "I need to talk to you."</p><p>"Uh-oh. That's never good."</p><p>Carson narrowed their green eyes. "You might want to sit down. Don't want you falling over and knocking yourself unconscious."</p><p>Ray looked confused but didn't say anything as he took a seat on his couch, and Carson took a seat on the coffee table in front of him.</p><p>"Ray," Carson said as calmly as they could. "I'm pregnant."</p><p>Ray was silent for a few seconds while his brain caught up. "You're <em> what?!" </em></p><p>"Pregnant," Carson repeated. Their right hand went to cover their stomach absentmindedly. "From a Directionless man who doesn't want anything tying him down. I'm keeping the baby."</p><p>Ray lunged forward and wrapped his sibling in a tight hug. "Whatever you do, I'll be right there by your side. I promise."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"A baby really isn't fun," Carson grumbled at the assortment of vitamins sitting on their kitchen counter. They glared at all of the prenatal vitamins as though they had personally offended Carson. "They're so much freakin' work."</p><p>"But they're worth it. Otherwise, you wouldn't put so much effort into it," Ray reminded them. He smiled at his sibling from the seat at Carson's dining table with a plate of food in front of him. "You even stopped stealing."</p><p>Carson rolled their green eyes. "I'm ten weeks pregnant, Ray. I'm going to start showing. I can't be in the middle of a robbery, and someone notices. I won't let anyone use my baby against me. I'm reckless, not stupid."</p><p>"Ah, I'm glad we have a distinction." Ray paused, watching his sibling gently caress their stomach. "How're you feeling?"</p><p>"Fine," Carson said with a nod, dropping their hand. Ray gave them an unimpressed look at their answer. "You know...<em> fine." </em></p><p>They knew that being pregnant would give them significant body dysphoria as the months went on -- they had spent so much of the teenage years, and early 20's achieving androgyny. For all of that hard work to fly out of the window because of some pregnancy was going to throw their mental health for a loop. Hell, they were already beginning to experience it in the quiet moments, and they weren't even showing yet. Three months ago, they could have never imagined being pregnant. But, knowing they were pregnant brought the smallest of smiles to their face that made Ray happy to see.</p><p>"Just...fine?"</p><p>Carson tossed a dishtowel at him playfully. "Shut up and eat your food."</p><p>The sound of Ray's laughter as he began to dig in made a smile spread on Carson's face.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>"Are you excited?" Lily asked, walking into Carson's apartment and shaking off the mid-December snow. "Today's your first ultrasound!"</p><p>Carson rolled their eyes playfully as they sat on their couch next to Ray. Carson's feet were propped up on Ray's lap. "And you've come to drive me?"</p><p>"How else are you going to get there?" Lily asked with the broadest smile on her face that Carson had ever seen.</p><p>"I thought I was going to take her," Ray said, a confused puppy dog look on his face. "I thought the appointment wasn't for another hour."</p><p>Lily shook her head before grabbing for her nibling and pulling Carson off the couch. "Mx. I'm-Sixteen-Weeks-Pregnant looks like they're almost ready to see the gender of their baby, they're so big."</p><p>"Really?" Carson asked. Hope filled their voice and eyes. "You think so?"</p><p>Lily smiled. "I'm sure of it. Come on. We don't want to be late. The traffic outside is horrendous. I'd hate to think what it'll be like this time next week on Christmas Eve."</p><p>Carson laughed as Ray got off the couch. The three left the apartment building and got into Lily's car. The ride was filled with mindless banter over the baby and its gender and whether or not the names Carson had picked sounded good.</p><p>"I like the names Blake and Drew," Carson said. "Both are gender-neutral. If they turn out anything like me, they won't have to change their name to fit themselves."</p><p>Ray smiled at his sibling's thinking. They always seemed to think ahead for everything, planning things out that didn't always seemingly need planning. He loved them for it.</p><p>When the three went back for the ultrasound, Carson had a death grip on Ray's hand. They didn't know what they were so worried about, but their nerves had been shot to hell since the moment they found out they were pregnant. Every worry about any pregnancy had already crossed their mind a thousand times. Carson knew stress was horrible for the baby, but they just couldn't help themselves.</p><p>Carson hissed as the cold gel came into contact with their bare, swollen stomach.</p><p>"Sorry," the ultrasound tech said, "it'll warm up in a sec."</p><p>It was quiet for a little bit as the woman moved the wand over Carson's stomach. Carson's grip on Ray loosened a bit so Ray's hand could receive circulation again. Lily stood behind Carson with a small smile as she watched the monitor.</p><p>"Oh, there your little bean is," the tech said, pointing at the baby lying down.</p><p>Carson gasped. There their baby was. All safe and snug in their stomach. It looked peaceful.</p><p>"Is it healthy?" Carson asked in a small voice.</p><p>"Looks like it," the tech said, holding the wand in place as she took some pictures from the monitor. "You want to know the gender?"</p><p>"Can I?"</p><p>"Of course. Your baby's big enough for me to tell." It took a few seconds before the tech looked at Carson. "Congrats, Mx. Palmer. You're having a girl."</p><p>"A girl?" Carson asked in shock. They looked down at their stomach. "A girl?"</p><p>"Yep." The tech took the wand off Carson's belly and wiped off the gel. She handed Carson the pictures. "Here you go. You can schedule your next appointment out front."</p><p>"Thank you so much," Carson said. They stared down at the pictures in awe. "I'm having a girl."</p><p>"Congrats, sib," Ray said with a comforting squeeze of Carson's shoulder.</p><p>"You're gonna enjoy taking care of a little girl, Carson," Lily said with a smile. "Let's get you home."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Carson hummed as they made lunch two weeks after seeing their baby girl on the sonogram. It was one of their favorites: chicken fettuccine alfredo with grilled shrimp and broccoli. There was a familiar calmness that spread throughout their body as they finished cooking the food. Plating it for themselves and Ray, who was sitting on the couch pouring over papers and papers of research to the sounds of the radio, Carson grimaced at the mess they made. In the middle of cooking, they seemed to tune out the world. Only when it was time to eat did they realize what kind of mess they had made and how much effort it would be to clean.</p><p>"Ray!" Carson called with a happy lit to their voice. They were mostly drowned out by the music. "I made-"</p><p>Carson cut themselves off quickly when they began to have abdominal cramps. They had been warned that Braxton-Hicks contractions could happen -- a way of their body practicing for the real labor contractions. But the cramps felt so much worse than what their OBGYN described. It wasn't until they looked down at the pants did they begin to worry.</p><p>"Ray!" Carson screamed, blood soaking the front of their jeans as their abdomen cramped painfully. "Ray!"</p><p>"What's wrong?" Ray asked, setting his things aside and walking into the kitchen. "What - oh my, God!" Ray yelled, running over to Carson. He grabbed their shoulders and looked into their teary green eyes. "We're going to the hospital."</p><p>Tears made their way down Carson's face as they shook their head holding onto their baby bump. "What if it's too late? What if-"</p><p>"Come on."</p><p>Ray grabbed both of their jackets and slipped Carson's on before slipping on his. He raced Carson out of the apartment building, into his car, and to the hospital. When they got to the front desk and told the secretary behind it what was going on, Carson was raced back in a wheelchair. Ray came along at his sibling's behest and insistence on not wanting to be alone.</p><p>It was a tense silence as Carson's OBGYN was called and made to rush over. The doctor on staff took a few sonograms, and the nurses took a few vials of blood. The pain while waiting for Doctor Khan only increased along with Carson's worry.</p><p>"This can't be it," Carson said, tears freely making their way down their face as they began to hyperventilate. "This can't be it. She can't go out like this. I can't lose her."</p><p>"You won't," Ray said. "Car, you won't lose her."</p><p>"Carson Palmer?" Doctor Khan asked. She walked up to Carson and grabbed their hand. "Hey, it's going to be alright."</p><p>"My baby?" Carson asked. "What about her?"</p><p>The grave look on the doctor's face made a wail rip through Carson's throat. Carson clung onto their brother as tight as they could. Ray made hushing sounds as he petted Carson's short hair.</p><p>"I'm truly sorry," Doctor Khan said. "You've just experienced a late miscarriage."</p><p><em> "No!" </em> Carson cried, clinging onto Ray like he was their lifeline. "No! Please!"</p><p>"I have to keep you here overnight. You still have to give birth to the fetus. We need to..."</p><p>Everything after the Doctor saying Carson still needed to give birth vanished. Carson felt themselves slowly drift off into space, not wanting to accept the reality they were in as real.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Carson stared blankly at the black screen of their TV. They hadn't said a word since they came home from the hospital nearly ten days ago. It pained their family to watch Carson waste away in their apartment and not say anything to anybody. Ray had to force Carson to eat and drink water. Lily had to force Carson to the bath. Quentin kept Carson company after his classes, talking to her about his physics and chemistry classes, clubs, and friends. Amanda helped keep their house stocked with what was needed to help them take care of Carson.</p><p>"So, today, this...girl, Harley," Quentin said, struggling with his words, "well, she's way out of my league-"</p><p>"Liar," Carson mumbled.</p><p>Quentin's blue eyes widened. "You - you - Carson-"</p><p>"What happened?" Ray asked, running into the living room. "Are they okay?"</p><p>"They just-"</p><p>"I'm fine," Carson mumbled.</p><p>For the first time in ten days, their eyebrows crinkled. Carson looked like they were coming back to life. They smacked their lips, their mouth dry and parched from resisting much of the water Ray had tried to give them. They clenched and unclenched their fingers and toes before slowly rolling their neck.</p><p>"Hey, hey, Car," Ray said, as Carson started to push off the couch. "Car, I don't think it's a good idea to be getting up."</p><p>"Why?" Carson asked, looking at their brother, confused. "I'm thirsty."</p><p>"I'll get them some water," Quentin said, getting up and letting Ray take his seat.</p><p>"Carson?" Ray asked gently. Carson slowly turned their head to Ray. "How're you feeling?"</p><p>"Fine," Carson mumbled. "Just peachy."</p><p>"Carson-"</p><p>"I said I'm fine," Carson said more forcefully. They shook their head as they slowly got off the couch, their legs shaking like a new fawn walking for the first time. "I'm always fine."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Weeks went by.</p><p>Everybody waited for Carson to breakdown and admit they needed help. But Carson continued on with their life as though they hadn't gone through something that most people never recovered from. Ray waited for his sibling to end up on his doorstep in tears, crying over their lost child. Lily and Amanda waited for Carson to collapse on their couch and cry and scream about why the universe had to be so cruel to them. Quentin waited for Carson to cry on his shoulder and let out everything they had been holding back.</p><p>Nothing of the sort happened.</p><p>All Carson knew how to be in their life was brave. All Carson knew how to be in their life was strong. All Carson knew how to be in their life was stoic in the face of adversities that threatened to tear them apart and never let them recover.</p><p>When Carson celebrated their twenty-sixth birthday, they vowed to themselves to put their twenty-fifth year of life behind them and never look back.</p><p>Looking back and remembering the good moments was a far worse fate than not letting themselves remembering at all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. "Care for a game?"</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The history of how Carson became the thief they are and how they came to know Oliver and Thea Queen as well as Sara and Laurel Lance, Felicity Smoak, and John Diggle.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Posted 1-17-2021</p><p>Hello! This ties in with Chapter Seven of Strange Things Have Happened Here.</p><p>I really meant for this Prequel to just be a one-shot to give some background on Carson. I did not mean to keep adding to it. But, here we are. I'm not complaining. I'm enjoying writing these chapters about Carson's life before the start of 'Strange Things Have Happened Here.'<br/>I really hope that you guys are enjoying reading them.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>At the age of twelve, Carson began learning how to pickpocket strangers. They found themselves on the opposite end of multiple stern faces and stern talking-to's. Despite being caught multiple times, they still persevered. They found they enjoyed being able to pull one over another person, taking home things they wouldn't normally have, and having more money than they would've earned through allowance.</p><p>At the age of fifteen, Carson started to skip classes. Their adoptive parents suggested seeing a psychologist to see if there were any lasting effects from Carson's childhood that would bleed into their teenage years and further. Carson refused and it was never spoken of again.</p><p>At the age of seventeen, Carson refused to send in their college applications like their brothers did much to the sadness of their adoptive family and high school guidance counselor. They didn't want to have another round of high school after graduating from it, not seeing the value of having 'higher education' as their smarts didn't lie in the books. Despite the prodding done, Carson didn't give in and no applications were sent in.</p><p>At the age of eighteen, Carson graduated from high school and entered the world of crime after pickpocketing the wrong person. Getting taken under the wing of a man named Youngster Jones, Carson's thieving skills skyrocketed as they were taken on heists and robberies. Their adoptive parents found out after one night coming home from a bank robbery. Carson was told not to tell Ray or Sydney, and Carson compromised with not bringing it up first as they never felt right deliberately keeping the truth from their brothers.</p><p>At the age of twenty, Carson went out on their own. They began participating in heists and robberies outside of Ivy Town to keep the heat off of them and their family. It was only after months of out-of-town 'business' that Carson's eye was caught on a silver Rolex watch in the window of a high-end jewelry store they passed. Carson knew it would be perfect for Ray and stole it for him only for it to come out to Ray and Sydney that the reason they had money without a job was because they were a thief. Ray still kept the watch.</p><p>At the age of twenty-two, Carson moved from their adoptive parent's house in Ivy Town to Starling City. They needed a place for a fresh start, somewhere not clouded with the misdeeds of their past. When they got to Starling City, they had promised themselves they would go straight for Ray. They were on the straight and narrow for a week before old habits crept in and they started robbing again and going on heists. Carson made a quick enemy with Detective Quentin Lance after a bank heist. Lance couldn't pin it on Carson--Carson left no evidence--and it started a lifelong want on Lance's part to nail Carson for anything just to put them behind bars.</p><p>At the age of twenty-seven, Carson gained a partner-in-crime. Ben Tolliver was always looking for his next adrenaline rush when he decided to pick the same jewelry store as Carson had one night to rob. After a bit of bickering, the two made it out before they could get caught and decided to lay low together at Carson's place. It didn't take long for a friendship born out of a shared love to happen. Carson and Ben quickly became a duo whose names vexed Detective Lance on a good day and made him pull hair out of his head on a bad one. Together, they were unstoppable.</p><p>At the age of twenty-eight, Carson lost their partner-in-crime. Ben Tolliver was always looking for his next adrenaline rush when he and Carson decided to rob the nearest gun shop during the day. Carson hadn't agreed about the timing of the robbery but went along with it anyway because they weren't about to leave Ben on his own. Carson knew it was a mistake as soon as they entered the place. The shooting started as soon as Ben opened his mouth and it ended as soon as Carson fled the scene with tears in their eyes. They had witnessed everyone open fire and Ben stand in front of them as a shield, taking all the bullets and dying in front of them. It took a couple of months to recover before they got back into their lifestyle with a few modifications to make sure nothing like that happened to them again.</p><p>At the age of thirty, Carson took a job in Central City on Valentine's Day. They decided to visit their aunts and cousin before they needed to be there for the heist. It was the only day they allowed themselves to look and their Compass and they almost instantly regretted looking at it in front of their Aunt Lily. She tried to encourage Carson to seek out their soulmate and, for one fleeting second, Carson was tempted to give in and chase after them. But they were quickly shaken out of the madness as they remembered who they were and why they were better off without their soulmates just moments before they got the call about the heist going down in five minutes. They didn't see the crestfallen look on their aunt's face as they left for the life they had chosen instead of the life that was chosen for them.</p><p>At the age of thirty-two, something extraordinary happened to Carson in Central City on the night of the Particle Accelerator explosion. Carson had gone to see it turn on with their younger cousin, Quentin, only to run in fear with him when it exploded, but it left behind something in Carson that they didn't discover until a few days later when they woke up one morning able to hear everybody's thoughts and feel their emotions. It quickly snowballed into being able to use telekinesis and getting caught by the one and only Oliver Queen.</p><p> </p><p>Carson didn't understand what happened to them, but they knew whatever it was had been a blessing. Thieving was easier. Understanding people was easier. Getting people to do what they wanted was easier. But, their powers were still uncharted and it still mildly terrified Carson knowing that it wasn't under their control.</p><p>It had been terrifying to wake up one morning bombarded by the thoughts and feelings of those around them. Carson had thought they were going crazy until they realized something happened to them on the night of the Particle Accelerator explosion. It didn't help when, only having a decent grasp on their telepathic powers, they accidentally found out about their telekinesis during a robbery two weeks earlier.</p><p>It was those powers, though, that had helped them pull off a bank heist that night by themselves for the first time with no crew. Carson's heart was beating energetically in their chest as they ran down the street from the bank with a duffle bag full of money in the hand--six-thousand-dollars to be precise.</p><p>"Mist, stop!" Came the deep voice of the Arrow from behind them as an arrow whizzed past their left ear and exploded upon contact with the brick wall ahead.</p><p><em>"Mist?"</em> Carson asked offended by the name as they turned around to face a readied bow and arrow poised to shoot them in the chest. "Think we'll have to work on the name. I <em>am</em> partial to my real name since I chose it, 'course." They laughed and held up their hands and the duffle bag. "I'll admit, this ain't how I thought my Tuesday night would go down. I didn't think you'd be here to catch me since your mother started runnin' for mayor." The bow lowered half an inch. "I figured you'd've become her errand boy, Oliver Queen."</p><p>"How do you know my name?" Oliver asked, his voice still deepened by the voice modulator.</p><p>"I ain't a rocket scientist or my brother who has four PhDs, but I <em>am</em> just smart enough to put the pieces together of when you came home and when the Hood showed up," Carson said with a shrug. "Face it. Your little stunt to convince everyone that you couldn't possibly be the hood may have fooled the gullible, but the smart ones out there aren't so easily fooled."</p><p>"If you're so smart," Oliver said, his voice modulator turned off as he lowered his bow to his side, "how'd you let yourself get caught?"</p><p>"Huh," Carson said with a smirk, "I guess I didn't think you'd be able to keep up." Their eyes swirled with a pine green and Mardi Gra purple color. "Care for a game?"</p><p>Carson dropped the duffle bag of money and sent tendrils of pine green and Mardi Gra purple into Oliver's head to penetrate his mind. They lingered for a bit. Looking into the mind of Oliver Queen, they saw the torment they sent his way in the form of an island, a buff man barking orders, a beautiful Chinese woman, and a blonde woman trying to fight for survival.</p><p>Carson didn't linger for too long, worried Oliver would fight past it as his mind was stronger than most people's they had come across since gaining their powers. They grabbed the duffle bag and slipped into the shadows of the night.</p><p> </p><p>It was late at night. The cold wind blew through the warehouse Carson was holed up in. They weren't stupid enough to keep the loot they got from the heists in their apartment anymore. Not after the last break-in. But the warehouse was old and it was winter. It had finally finished snowing and Carson was just grateful the roof was intact.</p><p>The quietness was so strong that they were able to hear someone approach them. The only person they knew who would be stupid enough to brave them alone.</p><p>"I wasn't stupid enough to leave a forwardin' address," Carson sighed, "so, how'd ya find me?"</p><p>"It wasn't that hard when I have a team to back me up," Oliver said, setting his bow down on a stack of boxes. "You have two choices here, Carson."</p><p>"Finally, you got my name right," Carson said, turning around to face Oliver.</p><p>Oliver sighed. "Choice number one: you come with me and I can help you keep your powers under control."</p><p><em>"Boring,"</em> Carson sang.</p><p>"Choice number two: I can turn you over to the cops and you'll spend the rest of your life in a supermax prison."</p><p>Carson hummed. "I like door number three. The one where I give you nice visions of those you love dyin' again on that island you were rescued from. That was a fun trip down memory lane, right?"</p><p>"Look," Oliver said as though it physically pained him to talk with Carson instead of shooting them through with an arrow, "I know you don't want to hurt anyone."</p><p>"Says who? You?"</p><p>"Says the CCTV footage from the bank. You could've killed the two guards instead of knocking them out." He took a step closer to Carson. "I saw you starting to lose control of your powers. I saw how afraid you were-"</p><p>"I. Am. <em>Never.</em> Afraid of <em>anything,</em> Mr. Queen," Carson spat with a fire in their normal green eyes. "Somethings I'm still getting used to. I only got my powers a month ago; they didn't exactly come with an instruction manual. Besides, it's not like you'd <em>actually</em> be able to train me, anyhow. Unless, of course," Carson smirked, "you've got these same freaky powers."</p><p>"I'd like to try," Oliver said as kindly as he could muster.</p><p>Carson scoffed. "What's in it for you?"</p><p>"One more dangerous person off the streets doing some good instead of bad."</p><p>"We'll see. Now, get."</p><p> </p><p>It took Carson less than a week to seek out Oliver Queen at his sister's club--they also had their ways. Oliver was shocked but pleasantly surprised to find that they were willing to learn about their powers even if it meant giving up thieving for a little while.</p><p>"We'll start training you here, then," Oliver said, welcoming Carson into the cold basement of Verdant.</p><p>It was empty save for Oliver and Carson. Carson was happy they always wore long sleeves like the dark maroon sweater they had bought three years ago in Central City. Carson hated the cold and the basement was nearly as cold as the winter night outside.</p><p>"Where's your team, Queen?" Carson asked with their arms crossed over their chest. "Too scared to be around me?"</p><p>"I gave them the night off to get you acclimated to me," Oliver said with a heaving sigh.</p><p>"Impressive," Carson nodded. "I'd assumed you'd want me to meet the team and have me indoctrinated to your ways right away."</p><p>"Didn't want to scare you off."</p><p>Carson laughed loudly, the sound bouncing off the walls. "Nothin' scares me, Oliver."</p><p>"I wouldn't be too sure."</p><p>Oliver sent them a punch. Carson didn't let it connect; an electric purple and neon green color swirled in their eyes as the same colors formed a mist that covered their fists and created a shield that stopped Oliver's fist in its tracks. Oliver's face didn't betray his internal shock as he pulled his fist back and the mist disappeared.</p><p>"How did I do that?" Carson asked in shock. They looked down at their hands confused. "I've never done that before."</p><p>"Adrenaline," Oliver explained as he took a few steps back toward the weapons. "Fear response. Something in you triggered your powers. I want to do it again."</p><p>Oliver aimed a gun at them. Before Carson could protest, Oliver shot the gun. The bullet pierced Carson's left shoulder and they let out a loud and pained scream as they covered the wound.</p><p>"What the <em>hell?"</em> They screamed at Oliver with wide green eyes. "Are you <em>insane?!</em> I'm not bulletproof!"</p><p>"I didn't think you were," Oliver said, putting the gun down on a table. "I thought your powers would protect you from getting injured."</p><p>With a bloodied hand, Carson gave Oliver a head slap with a fury in their green eyes. "Can we try somethin' a little less <em>lethal</em> to tap into my powers?"</p><p>"Like what?" Oliver asked with a sigh as he pulled out the first aid kit.</p><p>"I dunno!" Carson yelled, waving their arms with a wince. "Anythin'!"</p><p>"Sit," Oliver ordered.</p><p>Carson grumbled as they took a seat on the metal table and pulled down the material of their sweater from around their shoulders and let Oliver extract the bullet and sow them up, hearing his thoughts and feeling his feelings the entire time. Carson had sowed themselves up before and having someone else do it for them was a different experience. Even when they ran with Ben, they refused to let him treat them like a patient. They refused to let him see the scars on their body and the Compass on their wrist. It made them feel guilty to have someone take care of them when they always tried to take care of those around them.</p><p>"How about we try to start with your telepathy," Oliver offered after he finished with the needle and thread.</p><p>"Now there's an idea," Carson mumbled as they fixed their sweater. They looked at Oliver. "Ya know, I could hear your thoughts the entire time, right?"</p><p>Oliver tensed up. Carson would've gotten satisfaction out of it if they hadn't heard the thoughts going through his head.</p><p>"And what did you hear?" He asked softly.</p><p>"Ya shouldn't feel guilty about things that happened in another life," Carson said just as softly. "I have enough experience in livin' more than one life." Their thoughts made a quick jaunt to their unborn child before Carson reeled them in. "You don't need to beat yourself up for somethin' that wasn't your fault."</p><p>"Ever take the advice yourself?"</p><p>Carson's silence was enough of an answer. It was quiet for a few moments before Carson broke it.</p><p>"So, trainin' me in telepathy. Sounds interestin'. Where do we begin?"</p><p> </p><p>"Felicity, Dig, Sara," Oliver said, bringing Carson down to the basement for the second time, "this is-"</p><p>"Mist," Felicity said, standing up from their computer screens. "Oliver-"</p><p>"Oliver, what is she doing here, man?" Dig asked with his arms crossed over his chest.</p><p>"First off, I am non-binary so the correct pronouns to use are they/them," Carson said, correcting Dig. "Secondly, our dear Mr. Queen here decided to train me and try to make me a hero like all of you," Carson said with a smirk. "I only agreed to gettin' my powers under control so I didn't hurt anyone."</p><p>"Like that's ever mattered for you," Dig said with a distrusting tone of voice.</p><p>Carson snarled at Dig and walked up to him unafraid. They touched his shoulder and seized up, thrown into his mind with memories of running after Carson and getting to the scene too late.</p><p>Carson let go of Dig. "I can see why you hate me. So many opportunities to get me yet always too late even before I got my powers."</p><p>He looked at Carson and Oliver confused. "How did-"</p><p>"Part of my freaky powers, big man," Carson said, refraining from patting Dig on the shoulder. "All the more reason to get them under control, wouldn't you say?"</p><p>Sara walked up to them and sized Carson up. "And what is stopping you from using your powers against us when you get them under control?"</p><p>"I don't hurt those who've helped me," Carson said with a shrug. "A little rule that's helped me stay where I'm at in life. If you don't believe me, check out the trail of bodies left in my wake--or should I say, the <em>empty</em> trail of bodies in my wake."</p><p>It was silent for a few moments before the team agreed to work with Carson--not trust, but work with--so that they could make sure Carson's powers didn't fall into the wrong hands.</p><p> </p><p>It had been a long day for Carson, so ending up in the Arrowcave to keep training with their telepathy wasn't something they were looking forward to. But they went there anyway. They didn't need Oliver tracking them down and dragging them to the basement against their will.</p><p>"Picture yourself surrounded by people who embody the emotions," Oliver said calmly and evenly.</p><p>Carson breathed out as they closed their green eyes. They visualized all of the emotions they could feel from the people down in the Arrowcave. Apprehension and Distrust from Dig. Anxiety and Confusion from Felicity. Agitation and Compassion from Sara. Optimism and Curiosity from Oliver. They pictured them as vague outlines of people surrounding Carson in a large circle.</p><p>"Got it?"</p><p>"Got it," Carson breathed out, eyes still closed.</p><p>"Good," Oliver said, beginning to walk in a circle around Carson. "Now. Picture a brick wall forming between you and each of the emotions one at a time. Go slow."</p><p>"Is this what you do with your own emotions?" Carson asked with a smirk on their face.</p><p>They heard snickers in the background as Oliver said, "Focus, Carson."</p><p>"Sorry, dad," Carson said sarcastically despite being four years older than Oliver.</p><p>In their mind, they found the closest emotion to them--optimism--and slowly built a brick wall in front of the bright yellow vague outline of a person brick by brick.</p><p>"Did you do it?" Oliver asked after some time.</p><p>"I finished with one," Carson said, the brick wall finished and blocking Carson's sight to optimism in their mind.</p><p>"Good," Oliver said. "Now, finish with the rest. I'll be back."</p><p>"Where're you going?" Felicity asked as Carson began on curiosity.</p><p>"I have to deal with a few things. Keep an eye on them."</p><p>"Will do, Ollie," Sara said softly.</p><p>It took Carson more than forty-five minutes to finish building brick walls all around them and in between the emotions they felt from those around them. By the time they opened their green eyes to the peace and quiet in their minds, Oliver returned.</p><p>"Better?" He asked with two bo staffs in his hands.</p><p>Carson waited for his emotions to overwhelm them, but they didn't come. "Way better," they agreed. "What's next, boss?"</p><p>He tossed them a bo staff. "Physical training."</p><p>Carson looked less than pleased as they caught the staff. "Do we really have to?"</p><p>"You wanted to learn how to fight."</p><p>Carson looked back at the rest of the team for help, as though they would help Carson, before looking at Oliver again. "Fine. Let's go."</p><p> </p><p>It had been a long night of training with Oliver, Dig, and Sara after a long day of placating Ray over his venture into business failing. Felicity was sitting at her post amongst her computer screens while Oliver and Dig talked amongst themselves. Carson and Sara were sitting next to each other talking about their families. Sara told Carson a story about her and her sister, Laurel, getting into a fight over Sara's choice of free-time activities when she was a teenager. Carson laughed.</p><p>"What do your brothers think of all of this?" Sara asked softly, gesturing to the basement under Verdant. "Do they know about your powers?"</p><p>"Ray and Syndey?" Carson asked. "'Course, they do! Ray, Syndey, my aunts, my cousin, and Anna. Not like I could keep that from them. Anna's practically my sister and I would never lie to my family under any circumstances."</p><p>"All right," Oliver said, walking up to Carson. "Enough talking, time for training."</p><p>Carson looked up at Oliver annoyed with a sigh. "Ya know, you're more annoying than my high school gym teacher--and he was a former drill sergeant."</p><p>Oliver smiled as he helped Carson to their feet. "I'll take that as a compliment."</p><p>"You would." Carson glared at him. Carson adjusted their long-sleeves, the question of getting better workout clothes having died after the first workout over a week ago. "What're we doin'? Playin' the game 'hit Carson until they fall' or 'break Carson's bones so they can't steal'?"</p><p>Oliver didn't say anything as he used his bo staff to hit Carson in the back sending them stumbling forward a few steps. Carson turned around sharply with a glare. They went to hit Oliver with the staff only to be blocked. Everyone stopped to watch the two fight. Oliver was winning when Carson used their telekinesis to send Oliver to his back and keep him there with the end of their bo staff on his chest.</p><p>"Can I just say?" Carson asked, chest heaving as they stood over Oliver. "I <em>hate</em> the bo staff."</p><p>Oliver patted the bo staff in submission. Carson lifted it and helped Oliver to his feet. He smirked and took the bo staff away from Carson, putting both bo staffs away.</p><p>"I was waiting for you to use your powers," Oliver conceded.</p><p><em>"What?!"</em> Carson exclaimed. "And you couldn't have told me that last week when we started this?!"</p><p>"Some things you just need to figure out on your own," Oliver said, grabbing a towel to wrap around his naked shoulders. "You needed to get ahold of your powers to utilize them, and I couldn't train you in something that is supposed to be innate."</p><p>Carson paused. "Okay," they sighed, "you got a point. But ya could'a said somethin' instead of givin' me a shit ton of bruises."</p><p>"Just be glad you don't have any scars," Sara said, getting off the ground.</p><p>Carson's reply was to pull down the left shoulder of their long-sleeved shirt to show the still-healing bullet wound Oliver caused more than three weeks ago. Felicity's eyes widened and Sara took a few steps toward them before they adjusted their shirt.</p><p>"It's not my first scar," Carson said with a shrug. "It won't be my last."</p><p>"Is that why you wear long-sleeves?" Felicity asked. "Because of scars from your criminal life?"</p><p>"Somethin' like that," Carson said with a nod. They turned to Oliver. "Let's see what else these powers can do."</p><p> </p><p>It had been rough on Carson after Sara left to be with the League of Assassins. They felt closer to Sara than anyone else on the team besides Oliver. They knew Felicity was still wary around them and Dig still didn't trust them the way he trusted the rest. But it was when Laurel Lance came onto the team that was the straw that broke the camel's back and sent Carson spiraling back into their old life.</p><p> </p><p>"Oliver, what are you doing?" Laurel asked Oliver in outrage after finding Carson down in the basement of Verdant. "She's the bad guy!"</p><p>"First of all," Carson said from behind Laurel and Oliver, "I am non-binary. I use they/them pronouns."</p><p>"Oh, well, I'm sorry," Laurel said sarcastically to Carson. "Is that really the issue right now?"</p><p>"To me?" Carson asked. "Yes. I hate bein' misgendered. Second of all, I am <em>a</em> bad guy. Not <em>the</em> bad guy. Cut me some slack. If some higher power wanted me to be in jail, they would'a had me in there when I was eighteen. I'm thirty-five right now, sweetheart. Get over your self-righteous ass. Oliver is only trainin' me so that I don't accidentally hurt innocent people."</p><p>"Or maybe so that you <em>could</em> hurt innocent people," Laurel argued back.</p><p>"Listen, bitch," Carson said, walking up to Laurel and getting in her face, "I am <em>this</em> close to <em>punchin'</em> your lights out <em>without</em> my powers. So...test me."</p><p>Laurel looked startled as Oliver separated them. Carson huffed, crossing their arms over their chest. Laurel looked ready to keep fighting.</p><p>"Okay," Oliver said slowly, "let's just take a step-"</p><p>"No," Laurel said, a furious look on her face at being threatened. "No. She's dangerous-"</p><p>"You call me 'she' one more time," Carson cautioned in a scary-calm voice. "I swear, you will see your worst nightmares over and over and over until you beg for a mercy that I will <em>not</em> grant."</p><p>"Ollie," Laurel said, "she can't be-"</p><p>Mardi Gras purple and pine green tendrils of mist flowed from Carson's hands as the colors swirled in their eyes. The mist went straight into Laurel's temple, changing her eye color from green to a swirl of Mardi Gras purple and pine green for a few moments before they went back to green.</p><p>"Carson," Oliver said in shock as he watched Laurel look around the room as though she was looking at a completely different room, "what did you do?"</p><p>"Payback," Carson said through gritted teeth. They turned to Oliver as Laurel stumbled around the room muttering about Sara. "She was right, Ollie, I am a <em>bad guy.</em> No amount of conditionin' is gonna change that tiny little fact. Maybe I should stop tryin' to be the hero no one's gonna believe and be the villain everyone already knows me as."</p><p>"Carson," Oliver said, taking a step toward them, "you aren't a villain. You are a good person. Don't let Laurel get under your skin."</p><p>"Too late." A mist formed around their hand. "Don't follow me, Oliver. You don't want to end up like Miss Sanctimonious over there."</p><p>With that, Carson ducked out of the Arrowcave as Oliver tried to get Laurel out of the nightmare Carson inflicted on her.</p><p> </p><p>It wasn't until weeks later that Laurel found Carson in their apartment tinkering with a small electronics project their brother, Syndey, had sent their way for some help. He was under the thought that if neither he nor Ray could figure it out, it was best to leave it to Carson who always looked at things differently than a normal person. Laurel and Carson had a few words, not all nice, and decided that Carson was worth the effort Oliver had put into them. Laurel stayed on them and foiled nearly every attempt they could that Carson made of robbing a place or pickpocketing people on the street.</p><p>It soon became a game between Laurel and Carson over who would win--the lawyer or the thief.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This story will remain marked as 'completed' despite my updating it periodically as I do not know when I will update.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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